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Ask A Battle Axe #3

20 Jul Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off on Ask A Battle Axe #3
Ask A Battle Axe #3

In my 61 years I have learned many things and as a wise Latina, I will share with you some good old-fashioned common sense. Please send your Battle Axe questions to Eleanor@epochalips.com.

Dear Battle Axe,

I’m 53 years old and pretty active. I go to the gym regularly, go on hikes, and walk all over town. My problem is my stomach; I have a big girth. Any suggestions? I hate wearing anything tight. —Puzzled in Peoria

Dear Puzzled,

Wear a muumuu, there was a reason your grandmother and mother wore a house dress, duster, (the same thing) IT WAS LOOSE! Bring back the muumuu!

Dear Battle Axe,

My partner and I have been together a long time. I look at other couples and see how they sometimes look at each other in that dreamy kind of way. How can I get her to look at me that way again?—Dreamy in DC

Dear Dreamy,

Don’t worry, in no time both of you will have cataracts and soon you’ll both be looking at each other through a cloudy fog lens. Dreamy? Maybe not, but close.

Dear Battleaxe,

I recently was out and met someone at a party in San Francisco. I’m not from the Bay Area so it was fun meeting someone new who I could have a good time with. One thing lead to another and before long we were kissing in the corner. Later I  found out she already has a GF. My question to you; is kissing cheating?—Wondering from Washington.

Dear Wondering,

Is the Pope Catholic? Is the Rabbi circumcised? Of course kissing is cheating! Unless they have an open relationship I would unlock those lips and get out of the corner.

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