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More Sex & the Single Gal

More Sex & the Single Gal

In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@epochalips.com.

Dear Battleaxe,

Do you think one can and should masturbate even into one’s senior years? I mean—with a partner or without—can the urgency still be there?

Dear Inquisitive Senior,

Good Goddess! Hell yeah! And I should certainly hope so. Even if you have arthritis, take the super duper Excedrin Plus and go to town, with or without a partner. The very fact that you still have the desire means that you are vibrant and full of life. Try using a vibrator and all you will have to worry about is turning it on and off and making sure you have batteries. Get to it girl!

Dear Battleaxe,

While we are on the subject of sex, how about a threesome? At our age, should we even consider it?

Dear Considering a Threesome,

The fact that you are still considering it is good. Actually a threesome is great for people our age. It might not be wild sex with triple gainers (refer to my answer from a previous column), but a third party might be useful to remind everyone to take their medication, and while one partner is napping the other two can be playful. Triple bypass might be the only triple involved but still might be fun. Good luck and be adventurous!

Dear Battleaxe,

I’m 62 and want to date but finding it hard to find women my age who are active, like doing things like hiking, biking, dancing or just being out! Women who enjoy a nice dinner out, who love to travel and don’t want to date their dogs. Where are all the fun seniors???

Dear Desperately Seeking,

I’m wondering the same thing…in fact you sound like someone I would be interested in…hmmmmm. What are you doing this weekend?

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One comment

  • Akaya says:

    Eleanor, this is a HOOT!! A friend of mine said I had to check out “ask a battleax” and what a surprise it was to see your face. What fun!

    Ok, so here’s my question: “What’s a proper hostess gift when invited to dinner with vegan, separatist, post-menopausal, butch-of-center dykes?”