Whether it comes out of my mouth or anyone else’s “love you” has always bothered me. Something (or someone) is missing. Its as if the heart is engaged.
Where’s the “I”? What’s the problem?
When it comes to words and how we use them, the Buddhist teacher Yvonne Rand comes to mind.
I remember her workshop on “Right Speech”.
It wasn’t what I expected. I thought I was going to a class that would curb my urge to gossip, the Buddhist version of the Hebrew “yetzer hara”, (negative interpersonal speech).
Instead of focusing on gossip, Yvonne focused on how we have learned many bad habits rendering a lack of authenticity in how we relate to others. She gave us homework: Try it, she said, try it at home with your intimates and close friends. “It won’t be easy” she warned. For one week put an “I” in front of every verb that comes out of your mouth.
Its all about being present, in our breath, in our heart.
“Love you” deserves the “I” doesn’t it?