When I first heard Elton John sing “You Gotta Love Someone” I remembered an incident of TMM (Temporary Moment of Maturity). I’d been worrying about whether someone I cared for deeply reciprocated my feelings. Then I realized that what really mattered the most, what would last forever with me, was that I’d let myself love her. Regardless of how our relationship evolved (and it didn’t), I had that almost physical sense of my heart expanding. I knew this was a gift that would always be part of me, and that it came from letting myself feel what I felt.
That was the “maturity” feeling–like the prayer of St Francis, “grant that I may not so much seek…to be loved as to love.” That feels realistic, reliable, something I can count on.
Those TMMs come and go, but this one did make a big impact. So that’s why you gotta love someone–it expands your own heart.
About Dr. Glenda Corwin: Glenda Corwin, Ph.D is a clinical psychologist who specializes in lesbian sexual issues. She is the author of Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same Sex Couples (Seal Press, 2010). Dr. Corwin writes for the Huffington Post: Gay Voices, for the e-magazine Epochalips, as well as her own blog on www.DrGlendaCorwin.com. She presents frequently at professional conferences, and is a regular guest on Barb Elgin’s LesbianLoveTalk radio program.