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From Deep Throat to Homemade Sex Tapes

From Deep Throat to Homemade Sex Tapes

Remember when making a call on a public phone was fun and adventurous? When playing 45’s on your sister’s portable record player was crazy cool? Remember when porn films were just as patriotic as apple pie?

My first attempt to see the all American titillating classic “Deep Throat”, was my senior year in high school 1977. After a big discussion with Sister Stigmata in our religion class about the degradation of women in pornographic films, my friend Anita and I decided we needed to experience this x-rated flick so we could judge for ourselves. I believe our conversation went something like this:
Me: Wanna go see Linda Lovelace?
Anita: Hellz yeah!

Although it was shown in the evening, we walked into the adult theater in downtown San Jose wearing shades. The mafia looking dude holding a cigarette between his fingers at the box office told us Deep Throat couldn’t be shown this night because the film busted. “We’ve played it too many times–know what I mean?” He gave a semi-creepy smirk and nodded his head at us. As we started to walk away he blurted out, “But I’ll let you ladies in for free to see the other movie.”
“Oh yeah, what is it?” I asked.
“Shove It.”

After that smutty encounter, I went home and showered with Brillo Pads.

From that point, I saw a few porn videos at friends’ houses. Viewing the racy activity was part of the evening. You know we’d get together for dinner, or play canasta or for a baby shower and the night would end by us watching “The Chorizo Inside Miss No-No,” or its equivalent.

Every once in a while I did rent naughty videos–like two, three–ok, 87. One time I went to my neighborhood video store and I ran into someone I didn’t want to see—“Hi Mrs. Anderson, my second grade teacher.” I should’ve left at that point but I eventually found myself in the adult section. I quickly grabbed two videos: “Spank My Dirty Ass” and “Huge.” I was too embarrassed to bring these films to the counter so I grabbed “Mary Poppins” to throw off the clerk. But the Korean woman who managed the shop with her family, gave me this burning scolding look as if to say–You sleazy American whore!
So I told her, “Thank you, Choon-Hee.”

Yeah, good old days. Now there’s internet porn—it’s too easy. One click and you’re watching Debbie doing Dallas. Some guy having sex with a bucket of chicken. Three people getting it on with a rake. Not shocking. Too easy.

There’s homemade internet porn. Very popular. People are uploading their personal sex tapes. That shit is scary! If I’m not asking, please don’t show me. Where’s the mystery, America?

Allegedly, an ex-girlfriend uploaded a tape of us making carne asada in the nude while yodeling—that’s not me—I’m a vegetarian.

Book Monica Palacios  for your upcoming university and cultural events focusing on: LGBT, Chicana/Latina, Theater, Women, Gender, Performance, Race, Class, Sexuality, Vegetarian Food.

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