A friend posted a short, yet brilliant, note to her child self today that made me think. We all could benefit from writing to our young selves.
It seems the things that bother me most now, or have since childhood, might not have had as much power over me if I just had a chance to tell myself then what I know now. Obviously I got the wrong messages from those in my life. What if I had received the right ones? Would I be at all different today?
I think back to the young child being verbally and emotionally assaulted at the hands of her own mother. During those years her mother’s words were all she ever heard. I would have liked to say, “Hey kid. Someday you will have your own children. Your kids will be awesome. Everything she says to you today will make you a strong and determined mom. You will know better than most, just how painful words and actions can be. And you will try your hardest to make sure no one ever makes your children feel like you do right now. Her words are empty. Your heart will be full. ”
I think back to the kid that never quite fit in. That was everyone’s sidekick and no one’s hero. I would like to tell that kid “Hey kid. You are not less than them. When you are wishing you were someone else, someone was wishing they were you. Believe it when people say they like you. Trust me, waiting until you are in your 40’s to like yourself has severe disadvantages.”
I think back to the kid that only wanted to love someone, even if everyone thought it was the wrong someone. I would like to tell her “Hey kid. Love who your heart tells you to. It doesn’t matter what they look like, what their gender is, who they are related to, or where they come from. Missing opportunities to love and feel good out of fear is just letting them win. ”
I think back to the girl that was sure she was both a boy and a girl at the same time. I would say to her “Hey kid. You are whatever you feel in your heart you are. And it doesn’t matter if you stand or sit to pee. Most people will not understand you, but the important ones will. Don’t ever be something you are not for them. ”
And I think of the kid that sat planning her suicide, because no one took the time to tell her these things. “Hey kid. I love you. You might not know that for a long, long time. So I am telling you now. If you leave here, you will change the world forever. There will people that never got the chance to feel the love they would have shared with you. There will be incredible children that never got the opportunity to be here. And most importantly, you will miss an awesome journey that ultimately takes you to a place where you finally “get” yourself. And even though you think now, and will many times later in life, that no one would notice if you were gone. They will. I need you to stay. ”
I will never know how different life would have been if only I could have had this time with myself then. I am not so sure I want to know. What I do know is that it is never too late to help your young self heal.
Visit Echo Brook’s blog at dysphoricallyspeaking.blogspot.com