Recently when I went to an eye doctor for floaters, a common vision problem for older people, an assistant asked me if I had ever thought of cosmetic surgery for my droopy lids. In a Kiehl’s store I bought some hand cream and the cashier, in his white faux-doctor jacket, tossed too many packets of...
OMG! Pope Benedict has announced he will retire on Feb. 28, 2013. When a CEO of a major multinational quits and gives just two weeks’ notice, everybody pricks up their ears. Those who can hear through the deafening and tasteless “Ding dong the witch is dead,” remix are wondering why the sudden papal exit? Did...
For 2013 I only made one resolution. It’s bad form to tell you what it is, so I’ll just say that it has something to do with Melissa McCarthy. Got my fingers crossed. For the Winter Solstice, a friend gave me an engraved cube of burnished lead on which is etched, “Angels fly because they take themselves...
My little brother, Jim, once won a blue ribbon at a summer science fair. He played a pretaped screech of the opening of our old refrigerator door causing Franklin, his pet hamster to do double time on his hamster wheel, thinking some iceberg lettuce was coming his way. Jim proved Pavlov right, and inadvertently predicted...
Clinton/Vaid Household Conspiracy Theory #1422, 720am, 10.19.12: That the old CIA dudes from the Bush/Cheney years, the ones Pres Obama has never replaced, are behind the anti-Muslim video which riled everyone up enough to attack the US embassy in Benghazi. [sidebar: the Grand Opposition Party blocked increased embassy security funds] The old CIA ops then...
If Sarah Palin asks again, I’m doing pretty good with “that hopey changey thing”. I watched the Democratic Convention on CSPAN with USOpen breaks, except on opening night of football and that night there was some partisan bickering for clicker dominance. The Dems threw a good convention. After the White Party the GOP threw in...
Really I don’t think I could have handled four nights of the GOP convention in Tampa. Thank goodness I was able to flip between tennis and the convention: The USOpen, The USClosed, US open, US closed. It was like being in some horrible comedy club – Tampa’s Yuck Yuck [as in icky] Comedy Cellar. The...
There seems to be a finite amount of freedom to go around. They gave some to the gays, so they’ve had to cut some from another group. Sadly they’ve had to take some from the ladies. Women are the new gays. The takebacks include defunding Planned Parenthood, defunding contraceptives, de-personhooding women and other schemes to...
Once again disappointment humps my leg. It’s still early but so far this summer I have not been invited to one Higgs boson Discovery party. And I have an amazing outfit. Not to give it all away, but I had consulted with several Lady Gaga designers. Do people not know how amazing the discovery of...
You Latin III scholars have already worked out the translation, but for those who stopped at Latin I’s amo-amas-amat threesome, here you go: “The butler did it.” Remember, the verb always goes at the end of the sentence. Here’s what Pope Benedict’s butler did: he leaked confidential papal correspondence to a journalist who released a...
Hang on, it’s going to be a wild ride!
— Robin
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