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Kim Baker  // Posts published by Kim Baker

23 Mar Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

It was a punch in the arm that caught me off guard enough to wake me up to the reality that I was in a toxic relationship with an emotional abuser. Life was an addictive cycle of highs and lows that ate away at my sense of who I am to the point that I […]

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20 Jan Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Years ago, scientists examined thousands of effective teachers to identify the factors that made them so successful. Researchers looked at education, age, income, socioeconomic status, family background, and many other factors. After countless hours of data collection, they found one single factor determined the success of a teacher. With-it-ness. That is, people who are aware […]

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15 Dec Posted by in • Kim Baker | 1 comment

5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family

5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family

On the list of things people fear the most, I’m told public speaking sits at the top. This time of year makes me wonder if meeting the parents is number three or four on the top fears list. What if her family isn’t okay with the gay thing? What if her family finally accepted it, […]

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22 Nov Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships

3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships

3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships

In past relationships, there was always a moment when I knew it was over. In one particularly volatile relationship, many odd things happened over time that didn’t feel quite right – secrecy, aggression, and pulling me in and pushing me away. But it was one rather benign instant when I knew. I don’t recall the […]

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25 Oct Posted by in • Kim Baker | 1 comment

Lesbian Dating: Watch for these 3 Wake-Up Calls

Lesbian Dating: Watch for these 3 Wake-Up Calls

I am sitting in stopped traffic, headed home from the airport following a whirlwind work trip that left me defeated. Knee bouncing impatiently up and down, I replay the toxic trip, for my toxic employer as I sit at stopped train tracks. Finally, the gates open and I inch my way up to the stop […]

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29 Sep Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating

3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating

3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating

I kneel down and fasten the timing chip neatly to my running shoe, stand up and take in the pack of runners around me. Hands on my hips, I take a breath. It occurs to me that I’m about to run 13.1 miles and I may not be sufficiently trained. As I stretch, I recall […]

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27 Aug Posted by in • Kim Baker | 1 comment

3 Ways Lesbians Ignore ‘Red Flags’ When Dating

3 Ways Lesbians Ignore ‘Red Flags’ When Dating

“I have appreciated your friendship, but don’t think I can be friends anymore.” My directness, combined with my odd word choice surprises me, even as I hear myself speaking them aloud to a friend (now formerly known as). We part on civil terms and I’m proud of our adult-like recognition that this friendship isn’t working anymore. […]

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15 Jul Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: 3 Signs of Emotional Abuse

Lesbian Dating: 3 Signs of Emotional Abuse

Lesbian Dating: 3 Signs of Emotional Abuse

I am sitting on my office floor, old journals and photos spread around me. For the past hour, I have been reading my diaries from two decades ago to remind me of who I am and perhaps to provide a little perspective. As I sip wine and read about the events and feelings of my […]

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02 May Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Reasons Lesbians Choose Unavailable Women

3 Reasons Lesbians Choose Unavailable Women

3 Reasons Lesbians Choose Unavailable Women

Why are lesbians so often drawn to vaguely disinterested women? I am biting my lip, surrounded by UConn fans in a packed basketball stadium. I find myself watching the women’s basketball final four amidst thousands of other fans in the city I used to call home. As I watch on in angst as my dear […]

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14 Mar Posted by in • Kim Baker | 2 comments

Five Red Flags in Lesbian Relationships

Five Red Flags in Lesbian Relationships

I am sitting across the table over wine with friends as we discuss how to know when a relationship is over. We share stories of staying too long in relationships when we didn’t know how to know the difference between normal relationship problems, and problems that indicate it’s over. I find myself joking, “Someone should […]

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