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Kim Baker  // Posts published by Kim Baker

03 Sep Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Relationships: 5 Signs It’s Time to End It

Lesbian Relationships: 5 Signs It’s Time to End It

Lesbian Relationships: 5 Signs It’s Time to End It

I am out with a friend at a Mexican restaurant one evening when the conversation turns to our mutual friend who is in a dysfunctional relationship and considering ending it. Between bites of chips, we discuss the ways it’s so completely obvious it’s over. By our second round of margaritas we are talking as if […]

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25 Jul Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Three Ways to Deal with Heartache

Three Ways to Deal with Heartache

Three Ways to Deal with Heartache

A few weeks after 9/11 I was sitting at an outdoor mall watching some children running through a fountain, squealing with delight. Their laughter was so contagious that as time went on the adults sitting in the area began to smile too. I looked around and it occurred to me that this was the first […]

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28 Apr Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Signs You May Be in a Toxic Relationship

3 Signs You May Be in a Toxic Relationship

3 Signs You May Be in a Toxic Relationship

Several years ago, I was in the most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in. After a year of ups and downs (mostly downs), it was one relatively minor incident that pushed me to have the courage to leave for good. Toxic and I were having some landscaping done in the yard and she was overseeing […]

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19 Nov Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: Do You Have a Bad Picker?

Lesbian Dating: Do You Have a Bad Picker?

Lesbian Dating: Do You Have a Bad Picker?

I used to blame my tendency to be drawn to women who were vaguely disinterested in me on my first love, a boy I met just before college. Before I knew I was a lesbian, he was my Dawson’s Creek boyfriend, innocently hanging out together one summer, dealing with the drama of dysfunctional families, not […]

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06 Sep Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Relationships: Different Lenses

Lesbian Relationships: Different Lenses

Lesbian Relationships: Different Lenses

I am standing on the shoreline of a lovely beach in Maui, carefully reading the signs (hoping to avoid a repeat of what was almost was my last vacation in a surfing accident). I read aloud, “Polarized sunglasses may help you see rocks and other obstacles in the water before entering.” Turning to my partner, […]

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09 Jun Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: Three Ways to Have More Fun

Lesbian Dating: Three Ways to Have More Fun

Lesbian Dating: Three Ways to Have More Fun

I am driving down the freeway during my lunch hour, leg propped up against the door, window down. It’s a beautiful afternoon. I should be having a coffee and walking along the beach, I think. I sigh, glancing over at my to do list for this hour: Target, Trader Joe’s, car wash. Glancing back at […]

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04 May Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Why Conflict in a Lesbian Relationship is Good

Why Conflict in a Lesbian Relationship is Good

Why Conflict in a Lesbian Relationship is Good

It was running that taught me the best metaphors for hard times. Just put one foot in front of the other. Healing isn’t a steady upward trajectory. Last week, I stood in my backyard, hands on my hips, watching the steady demolition of my 80-year old garage. As the whole thing came down and eventually […]

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23 Mar Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

It was a punch in the arm that caught me off guard enough to wake me up to the reality that I was in a toxic relationship with an emotional abuser. Life was an addictive cycle of highs and lows that ate away at my sense of who I am to the point that I […]

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20 Jan Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Years ago, scientists examined thousands of effective teachers to identify the factors that made them so successful. Researchers looked at education, age, income, socioeconomic status, family background, and many other factors. After countless hours of data collection, they found one single factor determined the success of a teacher. With-it-ness. That is, people who are aware […]

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15 Dec Posted by in • Kim Baker | 1 comment

5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family

5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family

On the list of things people fear the most, I’m told public speaking sits at the top. This time of year makes me wonder if meeting the parents is number three or four on the top fears list. What if her family isn’t okay with the gay thing? What if her family finally accepted it, […]

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