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Monica Palacios  // Posts published by Monica Palacios

The Queer Señorita is Sick of Being Sick

The Queer Señorita is Sick of Being Sick

The last time I had the flu Roosevelt was president. I was always bragging: “I never get sick.” Well two weeks ago, I came down with a hard core case of influenza to the max. When your hair hurts–you know it’s bad. On Monday I was super exhausted, on Tuesday I was coughing all day […]

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22 Dec Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on ‘Carol’ is Caliente!

‘Carol’ is Caliente!

‘Carol’ is Caliente!

Who needs a stripper on a pole when you can experience the most exquisite sexual build up between two people in the history of film with the new period drama Carol. Our girl Cate Blanchett does an outstanding job as 1950s socialite Carol Aird, a woman who is going through a bitter divorce as she […]

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15 Nov Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Check my new show ‘SF Mi Amor!’

Check my new show ‘SF Mi Amor!’

Check my new show ‘SF Mi Amor!’

San Francisco State! Go Gators! Any Gators in the house? Let me tell you how I got to my cable car college. I was a freshman at Yuba College in northern California—you have that confused look on your face. It’s the city college in Marysville—you still have that confused look on your face. I really […]

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A Vivacious Lesbian Vegetarianista

A Vivacious Lesbian Vegetarianista

I became a vegetarian for a dame. I know—the things we do for love. But when I met this lovely lady 22 years ago, my meat consumption was minimal. I was a waitress at a steakhouse and serving grilled flesh all the time made me shiver and my nipples spin. And then one day, the […]

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29 Apr Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on JLo Bites My Apple

JLo Bites My Apple

JLo Bites My Apple

JLo kissed me in my dreams. This surprised me because I don’t fantasize about Jennifer Lopez—ever. Eva Mendes—absolutely. Tinker Bell—I mean, who doesn’t. A stack of pancakes—always. But JLo—not so much. This dream was trippy because I was my current self in my childhood home at 2061 Cinderella Lane–go ahead make the joke—”Do you have […]

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23 Feb Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Oscar Highlights from the Queer Señorita

Oscar Highlights from the Queer Señorita

Oscar Highlights from the Queer Señorita

Patricia Arquette winning for Best Supporting Actress and her equality for women, speech and watching Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez who were sitting side by side responding enthusiastically to her. Common and John Legend’s powerful performance of their song Glory and then their potent acceptance speech “we live in the most incarcerated country in the […]

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22 Dec Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Queer Señorita: Flustered In-Flight

Queer Señorita: Flustered In-Flight

Queer Señorita: Flustered In-Flight

My last experience on a plane was reminiscent of the 80’s and what I mean by that is three words—People Express Airlines. Way back in the day when you could actually smoke a cigarette on a plane and add to the already toxic inflight recycled bad breath air—you could also travel from LA to New […]

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25 Nov Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Monica Palacios: Queer International Hip Chick

Monica Palacios: Queer International Hip Chick

Monica Palacios: Queer International Hip Chick

Epochalips’ Queer Señorita Monica Palacios talks about her beginnings as a Latina lesbian comic in the Mission District of San Francisco. Monica became famous for her one-liners: “Remember the TV show Lassie with June Lockhart? — I had her. Very sincere woman. She kept her apron on the whole time…Try my new queer Mexican food: […]

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From Deep Throat to Homemade Sex Tapes

From Deep Throat to Homemade Sex Tapes

Remember when making a call on a public phone was fun and adventurous? When playing 45’s on your sister’s portable record player was crazy cool? Remember when porn films were just as patriotic as apple pie? My first attempt to see the all American titillating classic “Deep Throat”, was my senior year in high school […]

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16 May Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Will You Be My Date?

Will You Be My Date?

Will You Be My Date?

It’s that time of the year again. Making dolls out of old pantyhose? No-it’s Prom. Woo-hoo! I had no intention in going to my Junior Prom 1976. Although all my gal friends were excited about this high school tradition, I thought it was dumb and too girly. But my serious party friends Lolita, Laurie and […]

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