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• Kim Baker  // Kim is an educator, freelance writer, and blogger whose writing explores dating as lesbians in the digital age. Drawing on 20 years of dating, she is writing a dating book that redefines dating through the lens of mindfulness and connection. Follow Kim on Twitter: @sdwriter girl, or visit her website:
www.girlsguidetohealthydating.com

19 Nov Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments

Lesbian Dating: Do You Have a Bad Picker?

Lesbian Dating: Do You Have a Bad Picker?

I used to blame my tendency to be drawn to women who were vaguely disinterested in me on my first love, a boy I met just before college. Before I knew I was a lesbian, he was my Dawson’s Creek boyfriend, innocently hanging out together one summer, dealing with the drama of dysfunctional families, not […]

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06 Sep Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Relationships: Different Lenses

Lesbian Relationships: Different Lenses

Lesbian Relationships: Different Lenses

I am standing on the shoreline of a lovely beach in Maui, carefully reading the signs (hoping to avoid a repeat of what was almost was my last vacation in a surfing accident). I read aloud, “Polarized sunglasses may help you see rocks and other obstacles in the water before entering.” Turning to my partner, […]

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09 Jun Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: Three Ways to Have More Fun

Lesbian Dating: Three Ways to Have More Fun

Lesbian Dating: Three Ways to Have More Fun

I am driving down the freeway during my lunch hour, leg propped up against the door, window down. It’s a beautiful afternoon. I should be having a coffee and walking along the beach, I think. I sigh, glancing over at my to do list for this hour: Target, Trader Joe’s, car wash. Glancing back at […]

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04 May Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Why Conflict in a Lesbian Relationship is Good

Why Conflict in a Lesbian Relationship is Good

Why Conflict in a Lesbian Relationship is Good

It was running that taught me the best metaphors for hard times. Just put one foot in front of the other. Healing isn’t a steady upward trajectory. Last week, I stood in my backyard, hands on my hips, watching the steady demolition of my 80-year old garage. As the whole thing came down and eventually […]

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23 Mar Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

3 Ways to Avoid Trouble in Lesbian Dating

It was a punch in the arm that caught me off guard enough to wake me up to the reality that I was in a toxic relationship with an emotional abuser. Life was an addictive cycle of highs and lows that ate away at my sense of who I am to the point that I […]

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20 Jan Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Lesbian Dating: 5 Great Ways to Get ‘With-It’

Years ago, scientists examined thousands of effective teachers to identify the factors that made them so successful. Researchers looked at education, age, income, socioeconomic status, family background, and many other factors. After countless hours of data collection, they found one single factor determined the success of a teacher. With-it-ness. That is, people who are aware […]

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15 Dec Posted by in • Kim Baker | 1 comment

5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family

5 Tips For Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Family

On the list of things people fear the most, I’m told public speaking sits at the top. This time of year makes me wonder if meeting the parents is number three or four on the top fears list. What if her family isn’t okay with the gay thing? What if her family finally accepted it, […]

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22 Nov Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships

3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships

3 Pillars of Healthy Lesbian Relationships

In past relationships, there was always a moment when I knew it was over. In one particularly volatile relationship, many odd things happened over time that didn’t feel quite right – secrecy, aggression, and pulling me in and pushing me away. But it was one rather benign instant when I knew. I don’t recall the […]

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25 Oct Posted by in • Kim Baker | 1 comment

Lesbian Dating: Watch for these 3 Wake-Up Calls

Lesbian Dating: Watch for these 3 Wake-Up Calls

I am sitting in stopped traffic, headed home from the airport following a whirlwind work trip that left me defeated. Knee bouncing impatiently up and down, I replay the toxic trip, for my toxic employer as I sit at stopped train tracks. Finally, the gates open and I inch my way up to the stop […]

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29 Sep Posted by in • Kim Baker | Comments Off on 3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating

3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating

3 Reasons to Take a Relaxed Approach to Dating

I kneel down and fasten the timing chip neatly to my running shoe, stand up and take in the pack of runners around me. Hands on my hips, I take a breath. It occurs to me that I’m about to run 13.1 miles and I may not be sufficiently trained. As I stretch, I recall […]

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