Close

Not a member yet? Register now and get started.

lock and key

Sign in to your account.

Account Login

Forgot your password?

Ask a battle axe  // Posts tagged as "Ask a battle axe"

Lesbian Humor: Best of the Battle-axe

Lesbian Humor: Best of the Battle-axe

Dear Battleaxe, I’m dating someone who I haven’t had sex with yet. But I think we are about to—any day now. The problem is, she wants me to shave my pussy because she is hair-phobic. Should I do it? Or maybe just trim the front? Dear ‘Business in front— party in back’, Sounds like a […]

Read more...

Battle-axe Wisdom: Finding a Comfortable Bra

Battle-axe Wisdom: Finding a Comfortable Bra

Dear Battle-axe, As I age, I can’t seem to find a comfortable bra. Nothing seems to fit right. What do you recommend? Dear ‘Nothing Seems to Fit Right’, I have a feeling you are talking about “back fat”. Back fat can sometimes become as big as your boobs! Have you tried wearing two bras, front […]

Read more...

Stop Embarrassing Yourself. Read This!

Stop Embarrassing Yourself. Read This!

Dear Battle Axe, I don’t feel old, in fact, most people don’t believe I’m in my mid-60s! Do you have a list of ‘do’s & dont’s’ to help keep my age a secret? Dear Hiding, Rule #1 If you wear glasses, use frames to hide the bags under your eyes. But beware, your glasses might […]

Read more...

28 Dec Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off

What the Hell Did You Eat?

What the Hell Did You Eat?

Dear Battleaxe, I recently had a cough and bought some cough drops. The little wrappers had various messages inside:“A pep talk in every drop”,  “Put a little strut in it” and “Let’s hear your battle cry.” I guess some marketing person thought it was clever. What do you think? Dear Eucalyptus Breath, It might be […]

Read more...

Bathroom Etiquette & Sexy Girl Sandwiches

Bathroom Etiquette & Sexy Girl Sandwiches

Dear Battleaxe, Every time I go to dances for us older gals I see women who are clearly over 50, dancing like fools, sometimes grinding with 3 women like a sandwich. They seem to be having a great time but should they be doing this at their age? Dear Party Pooper, Of course they should, […]

Read more...

12 Apr Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off

Best of the Battle Axe

Best of the Battle Axe

In my 62 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@epochalips.com. Dear Battleaxe, My partner was recently diagnosed with restless leg syndrome and the medication her doctor prescribed to her is making her do kooky things. I’m somewhat mystified by her behavior. Dear Mystified, You […]

Read more...

A Battle Axe Valentine

A Battle Axe Valentine

Dear Battleaxe, Valentines Day is coming up, I’m single, and of course feeling the pressure of all this couple bullshit, romantic dinners, you know—all the Hallmark moments. It just makes me miserable, I don’t know what to do. Dear Miserable, Valentines Day is just another day on the calendar, in 24 hours it is over. […]

Read more...

Booty Calls and PDA’s

Booty Calls and PDA’s

In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@epochalips.com. Dear Battleaxe, What ever happened to Booty Calls, do you think people are still doing them,  and does it only happen at night? Just wondering… Dear Just Wondering, I think they are no longer […]

Read more...

20 Jul Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off

Twirling Nipples and Grunting at the Gym

Twirling Nipples and Grunting at the Gym

In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to Eleanor@epochalips.com. Dear Battleaxe,  I’m always looking at porn at work. I know it is wrong but the thrill of getting caught adds to my excitement and makes my nipples twirl. Should I lock my office […]

Read more...

25 May Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off

The Rapture and the Big “O”

The Rapture and the Big “O”

Dear Battleaxe, May 21st 2011 came and went with no Rapture. The 21st was supposed to be Judgement Day. I really didn’t believe anything was going to happen but I did make sure my affairs were in order and I went to confession. What do you think happened? —Always prepared Dear Always Prepared, The only […]

Read more...