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A Double Dyke Familia

15 Sep Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off on A Double Dyke Familia
A Double Dyke Familia

In my 61 years I have learned many things and have some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to

Dear Battleaxe,

Are you and Monica Palacios related? —Inquiring minds want to know.

Dear Inquiring,

Yes, Monica is my little sis. I am 10 years older and as Monica says “we are the Double Dyke familia”. It’s fun having a Lesbian sister. And get this, we came out at the same time.

We used to live together in Oakland back in the early 80’s. I tell everyone, it was one of the best and funniest times of my life. (I do think I’m funnier since I was in the womb first)

Dear Battleaxe,

I was driving early last Sunday morning, and there was not too much traffic on the freeway. I had a thermos of coffee and had just finished what I had in my cup. I proceeded to pour some more, keeping an eye out for traffic. I moved to the far right lane and slowed down as well. Do you think pouring coffee is as dangerous as texting while driving? —Loving my Java on the road.

Dear Loving my Java,

YES!!!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!! I know we always think we can do all these things while driving, especially if there is little traffic. Promise me you will not text, pour coffee, have sex, or change your clothes while driving.

Back in the day when I was a Sales Rep I used to change my panty hose while I went from appointment to appointment. Obviously I was a little more limber and a bit Gumby-like. Do women still wear panty hose?

Dear Battleaxe,

Why do people not want to take the last piece of pizza? —Just wondering and always hungry

Dear Hungry,

You know, I often wonder about that. Why be shy if it is the last piece of anything? I’ve never had this problem. I just take it. I ask first though. It’s kind of silly because you know they all want it. Trust me, just take it. It gets easier and easier the more you do it. Bon appétit!

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