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LESBIAN HUMOR // Browsing posts in LESBIAN HUMOR
A Queer Mother’s Day Story
Greeting customers with my voice using the mic made me feel like I had a talk show….with burgers and fries. “Would you like a hot apple pie with your meal….How about some large fries with that?…..Are you single?”
How to Find the Joy, Anyway
Another man moved behind me and he had such bad breath that when he sighed, it singed my hair. I was stuck in a surround-sound of ugliness.
Two Words: Sock Bra
I read the decorative tag revealing that the bra was made out of soft stretchy micro fabric: 95% nylon and 5% yak hair.
Lesbian Orgasms! A Dog’s Best Friend
There are no boundaries with lesbians and their precious furry friends. And that’s why during our love-making sessions, us gals experience canine interruptus.
A Battleaxe Valentine
Dear Battleaxe, Valentines Day is coming up, I’m single, and of course feeling the pressure of all this couple bullshit, romantic dinners, you know—all the Hallmark moments. It just makes me miserable, I don’t know what to do. Dear Miserable, Valentines Day is just another day on the calendar, in 24 hours it is over. […]
That Time I Opened for Etta James
When I was just starting out in comedy in the 80’s I was hitchhiking in San Francisco one night, yup – me and Aileen Wournos – the last lesbian hitchhikers on the planet. I very luckily got a ride from Lupe De Leon the manager for Etta James, Kenny Rankin and Tania Maria. I made him laugh […]
Ask A Battleaxe: Should I Shave…Everything?
Dear Battleaxe, I’m dating someone who I haven’t had sex with yet. But I think we are about to—any day now. The problem is, she wants me to shave my pussy because she is hair-phobic. Should I do it? Or maybe just trim the front? Dear ‘Business in front— party in back’, Sounds like a […]
Smelly Commuter Trains & Long Chin Hairs
Dear Battleaxe, I live in San Francisco and take public transportation to work. The afternoon trains are crowded and smelly. What can I do about the bad smelling people on the evening trains? Dear PT Advocate, Good for you for taking public transportation! Less cars on the road! Crowded buses or trains are not fun. Just […]
Monica Palacios: A Lesbian Packing Primer
Packing for a trip is painful. It’s equivalent to shopping for bras—you gotta do it, there’s a lot of huffing and puffing and eventually your nipples get pinched—and not in a good way. It takes me all day to pack. I put stuff in my suitcase then I take stuff out. I try on clothes […]
Lesbian Humor: More Best of The Battleaxe!
In my 67 years I have learned many things and have gained some good old-fashioned common sense. Send your questions to me ‘Ask a Battle Axe’ at info@epochalips.com. Dear Battleaxe, Every time I go to dances for us older gals I see women who are clearly over 50, dancing like fools, sometimes grinding with 3 […]
What's InsideA lesbian smorgasbord
Hang on, it’s going to be a wild ride!
— Robin
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