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LESBIAN HUMOR  // Browsing posts in LESBIAN HUMOR

09 Jun Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Gender Fluid on the Rocks

Gender Fluid on the Rocks

Gender Fluid on the Rocks

Recently I informed a friend that I was looking girly and she replied: “What does that mean? You have flowers in your jockstrap?” How dare her! I wear boxers. It’s true–I’m masculine and feminine. I poke and I like to get poked. When I was a young lass of five with my short pixie haircut, […]

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Stop Embarrassing Yourself. Read This!

Stop Embarrassing Yourself. Read This!

Dear Battle Axe, I don’t feel old, in fact, most people don’t believe I’m in my mid-60s! Do you have a list of ‘do’s & dont’s’ to help keep my age a secret? Dear Hiding, Rule #1 If you wear glasses, use frames to hide the bags under your eyes. But beware, your glasses might […]

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18 Apr Posted by in • Kate Clinton | Comments Off on ACTIVIAISM

ACTIVIAISM

ACTIVIAISM

Recently when I went to an eye doctor for floaters, a common vision problem for older people, an assistant asked me if I had ever thought of cosmetic surgery for my droopy lids. In a Kiehl’s store I bought some hand cream and the cashier, in his white faux-doctor jacket, tossed too many packets of […]

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15 Apr Posted by in • Chantal Carrere | Comments Off on Better Days in Boston

Better Days in Boston

Better Days in Boston

Hello bored and deviant people! The video attached is the freakshow you’ve been waiting for!!! What you are about to witness is Robin and I in search of a punch line on the Charles River in Boston, Massachusetts. Robin told me there was a mysterious Billy Goat McGruff blocking passage under the bridges we were […]

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12 Feb Posted by in • Kate Clinton | Comments Off on The Pope is Pooped!

The Pope is Pooped!

The Pope is Pooped!

OMG! Pope Benedict has announced he will retire on Feb. 28, 2013. When a CEO of a major multinational quits and gives just two weeks’ notice, everybody pricks up their ears. Those who can hear through the deafening and tasteless “Ding dong the witch is dead,” remix are wondering why the sudden papal exit?  Did […]

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11 Jan Posted by in • Kate Clinton | 1 comment

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

For 2013 I only made one resolution.  It’s bad form to tell you what it is, so I’ll just say that it has something to do with Melissa McCarthy.  Got my fingers crossed. For the Winter Solstice, a friend gave me an engraved cube of burnished lead on which is etched, “Angels fly because they take themselves […]

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Every Day is a Sunny Day

Every Day is a Sunny Day

As I stand and announce, “I have to go,” photographer Sunny Bak, my neighbor and adorable friend, replies in a nice dominatrix voice, “Nobody leaves. We have to watch one more episode.” She’s right. We are shamelessly addicted to the gripping TV show Homeland. We think Claire Danes is a nutcase–and that’s why we’re obsessed […]

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28 Dec Posted by in • Ask a Battle-axe | Comments Off on What the Hell Did You Eat?

What the Hell Did You Eat?

What the Hell Did You Eat?

Dear Battleaxe, I recently had a cough and bought some cough drops. The little wrappers had various messages inside:“A pep talk in every drop”,  “Put a little strut in it” and “Let’s hear your battle cry.” I guess some marketing person thought it was clever. What do you think? Dear Eucalyptus Breath, It might be […]

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28 Nov Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on I Miss My Chance

I Miss My Chance

I Miss My Chance

I miss my dog Chance—big time. She was my love. She came to me through my sister Marty whose dog had puppies. My partner at the time, and I, wanted a girl so we had no choice but to take the runt of the litter. My sister thought Chance was born dead, so she tenderly […]

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20 Nov Posted by in • Kate Clinton | Comments Off on Obamacare Makes God a Particle

Obamacare Makes God a Particle

Obamacare Makes God a Particle

My little brother, Jim, once won a blue ribbon at a summer science fair. He played a pretaped screech of the opening of our old refrigerator door causing Franklin, his pet hamster to do double time on his hamster wheel, thinking some iceberg lettuce was coming his way. Jim proved Pavlov right, and inadvertently predicted […]

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