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• Monica Palacios  // Monica Palacios, Writer/Performer, Adjunct Professor
www.monicapalacios.com

05 Nov Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Dia de los Muertos

Dia de los Muertos

Dia de los Muertos

Experienced Dia de los Muertos in Boyle Heights the other night. I will confess right here and now, this was my first time. Don’t judge. Me and my homegirl Sunny Bak, walked the long ass stretch of First Street from State near where we parked, to Anderson, where the oldest Los Angeles celebration of Day […]

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Quinceañera x 2

Quinceañera x 2

When I turned 50 in 2009, it really was no big deal. All my parts still worked and I wasn’t in need of stool softeners.  Ok—maybe half a tab.  But I looked cool when I danced…that’s if you closed one eye and squinted. So it’s now 2012 and I must say, this is a big […]

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Active Bottoms

Active Bottoms

I’m not going to lie to you—I just bought a pair of workout shorts that promoted “tummy control”. Cuz if I can wear shorts that have a “power mesh insert” that will help me discover the figure I never knew I had—I’m buying them. I’m buying seven. And besides, if you can shove your power […]

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LA Is My Babe

LA Is My Babe

2012 marks my 25th anniversary of landing in Los Angeles. Yup, I came here with a dream, a prayer and the runs. I was a mess. I had failed my experiment of attempting to live in New York City. In 1986 I left my beloved cable car town of San Francisco for the chance to […]

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Women’s Day Every Day!

Women’s Day Every Day!

Today is March 8th, International Women’s Day. Can’t you smell the estrogen in the air? I swear to god, I’m going to start my period any second. International women, I say we stand side by side creating a woman chain across the globe wearing nothing but our sports bras, pajama bottoms and sensible shoes. Let […]

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Angie’s Bad Ass Leg

Angie’s Bad Ass Leg

When Angelina Jolie walked out on stage at the 84th Academy Awards show and sexily whipped out her right leg from the thigh high slit on her Versace dress, the internet exploded with taunts about her exaggerated leg pose and a Twitter account popped up called: AngiesRightLeg. As for me, I wanted to slap BBQ […]

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Detective Benson’s Vibrating Gavel

Detective Benson’s Vibrating Gavel

I knew it was eventually going to catch up with me.  No, not my middle age flab—jury duty.  I had successfully evaded my citizen responsibility for 3 decades.  I guess my excuses over the years were believable:  I didn’t get my allowance this week.  My tummy hurts.  My panties are itchy. On January 5, 2012, […]

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01 Jan Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on 2011 – Looking Back, Forward, & Under The Bed

2011 – Looking Back, Forward, & Under The Bed

2011 – Looking Back, Forward, & Under The Bed

So much happened throughout 2011. I’m dizzy from it all but then again, I’m still trying to figure out how to record TV shows using my VCR. I taught all school year at UCLA and UC Santa Barbara—two classes per quarter. I usually teach one course a quarter.  The thing about teaching college classes–you can’t […]

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I’m a Monkey’s Uncle

I’m a Monkey’s Uncle

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie is Curious George on steroids and a shot of Jack Daniels.  Since I was a little dykeling, I always wanted a chimpanzee as a pet so he could do my Saturday chores and then we could hang out in our tree house looking at Playboy. Carrying […]

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09 May Posted by in • Monica Palacios | Comments Off on Vivacious Vegetarianista

Vivacious Vegetarianista

Vivacious Vegetarianista

I became a vegetarian for a dame. I know—the things we do for love. But when I met this lovely lady 22 years ago, my meat consumption was minimal. I was a waitress at a steakhouse and serving grilled flesh all the time made me shiver and my nipples spin. And then one day, the […]

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