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• Monica Palacios  // Monica Palacios, Writer/Performer, Adjunct Professor
www.monicapalacios.com

I Want To Lick Salt

I Want To Lick Salt

In the new movie Salt, Angelina Jolie is a Russian spy, a former Russian spy, a substitute teacher—I’m not really sure what she is, but it was exciting to watch her kick some serious ass in this senseless movie about espionage. The violence is so over the top–it’s ridiculous, absurd, obscene, yet I want a […]

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Lesbian Orgasms: A Dog’s Best Friend

Lesbian Orgasms: A Dog’s Best Friend

I want to open a business called, Pap and Pup: pap smears for lesbians and their dogs, because that’s how inseparable we are. There are no boundaries with lesbians and their precious furry friends. And that’s why during our love-making sessions, us gals experience canine interruptus. My cute Shepherd girl, Chance, is in doggy heaven […]

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No, No to Mr. Gyno

No, No to Mr. Gyno

I was in the pens, pencils and popcorn aisle at Staples, trying to figure out if I should commit to the extra fine point or the fine point.  I was doodling on the practice note pad and I was feeling political so I wrote: Stop the war—show me your panties. I was writing other profound […]

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Shape Enhancing Ego

Shape Enhancing Ego

I’m not going to lie to you—I just bought a pair of workout shorts that promoted “tummy control”. Cuz if I can wear shorts that have a “power mesh insert” that will help me discover the figure I never knew I had—I’m buying them. I’m buying seven. And besides, if you can shove your power […]

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