LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS & SEX // Browsing posts in LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS & SEX
Lesbian Relationships: 5 Signs It’s Time to End It
I am out with a friend at a Mexican restaurant one evening when the conversation turns to our mutual friend who is in a dysfunctional relationship and considering ending it. Between bites of chips, we discuss the ways it’s so completely obvious it’s over. By our second round of margaritas we are talking as if […]
Three Ways to Deal with Heartache
A few weeks after 9/11 I was sitting at an outdoor mall watching some children running through a fountain, squealing with delight. Their laughter was so contagious that as time went on the adults sitting in the area began to smile too. I looked around and it occurred to me that this was the first […]
Sex and Body Image
When I ask women to rank order the most negative influences on their sexual relationships, negative body image almost always tops the list. They mean “feeling fat.” True, some women worry about their breasts and hips and skin and other body parts, but by far the major self-criticism is about weight. One woman summed it […]
Lesbian Dating & Relating: 3 Guidelines
Being present, compassionate, and willing to let go, are key in mindful relationships. Recently I listened to a lovely talk about meditation, about paying attention to the present moment, practicing loving compassion, and letting go of thoughts that carry you away from your breath, or mantra, or wherever you focus when you meditate. This makes […]
3 Signs You May Be in a Toxic Relationship
Several years ago, I was in the most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in. After a year of ups and downs (mostly downs), it was one relatively minor incident that pushed me to have the courage to leave for good. Toxic and I were having some landscaping done in the yard and she was overseeing […]
Lesbian Dating: The Problem with Pursuing
“Never pursue a distancer.” This was the maxim I learned in grad school couples’ therapy classes. It seemed like a no-brainer at the time. How could anyone keep going after someone who doesn’t want you? I would have more self-respect! Until I really fell in love with a lovely woman who was less in love […]
Bringing Your Partner Home for the Holidays
Family visits over the holidays can be warm and wonderful–or a painful reminder of how badly we connect with our own relatives. Unlucky same-sex couples face some unique challenges, like flat out rejection, unspoken disapproval, awkward silences…For many, the subtle or blatant homophobia from family turns a happy occasion into an obligation to be endured. […]
Sexy New Photography Book by Meg Allen
“I brought you a sexy surprise for Bastille Day,” said Aids-activist and writer Anne-Christine d’Adesky, as she poured champagne for our audience at the Castro bookstore The Green Arcade. We were sharing the bill that night, presenting our new memoirs, her Pox Lover and my Kiss Me Again, Paris. “Here’s my pal, Meg Allen.” We […]
Lesbian Dating: Do You Have a Bad Picker?
I used to blame my tendency to be drawn to women who were vaguely disinterested in me on my first love, a boy I met just before college. Before I knew I was a lesbian, he was my Dawson’s Creek boyfriend, innocently hanging out together one summer, dealing with the drama of dysfunctional families, not […]
Is Having Sex Really That Important?
In my personal quest to affirm sexual intimacy for lesbian couples, I keep hearing “Why?” If two women aren’t having sex, and both are okay with that, why is there a problem? Maybe sex just isn’t that important to them. Well, yes, if this were true, it would be true. There is no rule that […]
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